Anyways, said all of that to say, it feels darn good walking into a clean organized living space that is all my own. Inside my room, I'm surrounded by the familiar: small things, such as photos and personally chosen decor, that make my room uniquely mine. On a bad day, my room is there for me. I like my room. I feel safe in my room. Today was no different. Upon walking into my room a few moments ago, I was greeted by the new feeling of ease and joy that my clean room now holds for me. I began to ponder, while looking in my now organized closet for my Africa flip-flops, just how good and safe I felt in this space and how much I didn't want to have to leave this place for risk of suffering discomfort that my room would never ask me to suffer as long as I remained within its four walls.
It's here that my thoughts quickly turned to my possible future plans and the thought crossed my mind that if I just wouldn't leave, if I just wouldn't go and do, if I'd set aside my crazy notions of adventure and the pull of the world located across the Atlantic, I could remain within these safe, comfortable four walls forever. This thought lingered for about two seconds before I realized that this was a cleverly disquised attack from the enemy. This is a lie from Satan that isn't meant to comfort, it's meant to destroy.
You see, recently I spent four months in a 3rd world country living outside of my American born comfort zone. And I've garned through various conversations since my return that most people, in addition to thinking I was a little nuts, also think that I've gotten the "bug" out of my system. They think I've trotted off to do this thing, did what I set out to do, and now I must be planning better for my future. Surely now I'll settle down, get a 9-5, find a husband, and start a family. And don't get me wrong, this is all very tempting, but this "bug" I seem to have caught is a whole lot more than a 24-hour flu. Instead, it is deep and stirring, its the awakening of a call I believe we are all designed with, a higher purpose than we can conceive within our own imaginations. And it's lasting. This bug is more like an allergy or intolerance that you never grow out of. It requires a complete lifestyle change and perspective shift. No longer can I rest within the four strong walls of my bedroom with all its familiar comforts. In order to really live, I have to not just read these words below, but I have to take them to heart and act on them.
"Whoever loves father or mother more than me is not worthy of me, and whoever loves son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. And whoever does not take up his cross and follow me is not worthy of me. Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it." --Jesus, Matthew 10:37-39
This whole attack on my thoughts comes right on the heels of a pretty big decision I've made for my future. Today I listened to a timely sermon about making decisions and taking action against indecisiveness that stops kingdom growth in its tracks. This further confirmed my decision and as I was pondering the next season of my life and all of the exciting challenges it is sure to contain, that is when the devil decided to strike. Funny how he does that. But this is no laughing matter. Sure I could choose to remain in my world and my room in America, and maybe I could live a successfull life full of generous giving and security. But that deep stirring desire for more, that thirst for something holy could never be quenched by settling. So, I'll go.
Don't let the devil cheat you out of God's divine purpose for your life. Trading your unique role in His kingdom for Satan's false promise of safety and security in a chaotic world that he is not in control of anyways makes no sense.
With love,
Somer
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